Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Last Letter!!!!

I am pleased to see that my last pleas of "HEY WRITE ME" got to some of you!! I recieved some of the best emails this week haha just to put a cherry on this cake!
Tears fill my eyes as I sit to write this dreaded last letter haha. Truth be told is that I feel my heart torn into two pieces right now. Don't get me wrong yes I am excited to see you all... but I am not excited to leave this place. I have been thinking the passed couple of days what it is that I could write in this last email and truth is that the minute that I sat down to write it all left my head. Haha bear with me because honestly this is a hard letter to write. I am going to write some of the feelings that I have had in these last couple of weeks/days and what it is that I have learned here. Goodness I have so many thoughts in my head that they probably aren't going to come out right but here we go..
1. Jesus is the Christ. This is something that I will never doubt. I know that Jesus Christ lives, I know he died for every single one of us so that we can take advantage of the Atonement, repent, and start over. I have seen so many times how the Atonement has blessed the lives of so many people that I love here in Nicaragua. From helping someone change from being an acoholic to a worthy husband and Priesthood holder, to a teenage girl who was in the wrong path and wanted to come closer to Christ. The Atonement is real, I know that it doesn't matter what problem we are facing, the healing power of the atonement is accessible to all that look for it. Wether we are sad, hurt, frustrated, or even happy. He has felt it all. Every little thing, and He stands there with His arms outstreched waiting.
2. God is merciful. I have always been amazed at the trust God has put in teenagers to teach the gospel. It has always been something that amazes me seriously. Even more how it is that 18 months ago He trusted in someone so imperfect (named Breann) to put on a nametag that has the name of His son and walk into an unknown world without knowing the language to go and try to help people come unto Him. I know that I am still very far from perfect, but I also know that I am just a little bit closer to being like Christ than I was 18 months ago. Thanks to the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father. 
3. Miracles exist, I know that because today the number of emails that I usually recieve doubled haha just kidding. But seriously, God is a God of miracles. And it is easy to see them. Just take a look around and I promise you will be able to see the miracles that God has worked in your life. Again, I am so grateful that Heavenly Father allowed me (a very imperfect person) see SO MANY countless miracles. I know that it was His way of saying "hey I know its hard, but I am still here." 
4. Every prayer is heard and answered. I know that you all probably know that, but I have no doubt, not even one, that when a child of God, kneels in humble prayer, those prayers go straight to the ears of a Loving Heavenly Father. Yes it is true that not every prayer is answered how or when we want it to be. But YES they are answered and in time we realize that all of it was Gods plan not ours :)
5. THIS IS THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST- before the mission when I gave my testimony I kinda just followed that basic primary outline, I know the church is true, that Thomas S Monson is a prophet, etc etc. But now I know that THIS is the church that Jesus Christ Himself established. It isnt something new. It is organized in HIS way. With a Prophet of God just like in the olden times. I know that Thomas S Monson talks with God. I know that the 12 apostles help carry out the work of the Lord in preparation of His coming. I know that the priesthood power has been restored through a servant of the Lord named Jose Smith. I know I know I know that this is the church of JESUS CHRIST. And I cannot deny it.
6. I know that the Book of Mormon is a guide for us in these last days. The contents of this book have helped me have a better relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. It is the way that we can know how to return to live with them. I know that Christ visited these beautiful lands of the Americas and I have been incredibly blessed to be able to serve here among people that I know are of the Lamanite race haha.
7. I know that Heavenly Father has a special plan for each one of His children. Our job is to live worthy enough that He can guide us. I have been guided every single day of the mission and I know it. To find people to teach or even to have a conversation with a stranger that has impacted my life. Part of me thinks that Heavenly Father didn't send me here to teach the people, He sent me here so that the people could teach me. :) 
Estoy tan agradecida con mi Padre Celestial por la oportunidad que me dio a poder servir junto con este pueblo de Nicaragua. He aprendido tantas cosas que no puedo escribirles todo en una sola carta. Pero lo que si quiero compartir es que yo se que el Señor ama a todos por igual. Si es cierto que aquí tal vez la iglesia no es lo mismo que allá, todavía van aprendiendo pero si se que el Señor ama este pueblo tanto como a mi propia familia. Yo he tenido la oportunidad a servir adentro de un pueblo tan humilde y escogido. La pobreza material de Nicaragua si es grande, pero ellos son ricos de corazón. He aprendido que significa la palabra humildad. No siempre son las personas que son pobres, pero son las personas que pueden reconocer y dar todo el honor a Dios. Las personas aquí me han enseñado que no tenemos que pensar tanto hacer lo bueno. Cuando sabemos que algo es bueno hay que hacer lo. Sin pensar dos veces jaja. Es difícil a despedirme de las personas que ahora aunque son morenos, son mi familia. Probablemente es la cosa mas difícil que he tenido que hacer en toda mi vida. Pero en lugar de estar triste, estoy completamente agradecida. Se que mi Padre Celestial me conoce, y que es por eso que me mando aquí. Cada una de las personas que he tenido la oportunidad a enseñar me han enseñado algo. Que dicha es que yo podría aprender mas que pensé posible cuando yo debía de ser la maestra. haha. Ahora el momento de ir vino, y estoy tratando a aprender como aceptarlo jaja pero ahí vamos. Creo que nunca voy a poder explicar el amor que tengo por los Nicaragüenses pero lo mas cerca que podría explicarlo es que son mi familia. Amo cada uno de ellos que me han permitido ayudarles a cercarse a Dios y Jesucristo. No puedo creer que el tiempo ya se acabo pero ni modo jaja ahora tengo muchas cosas mas que hacer. Pero si, sepan que estoy muy muy muy agradecida por cada dia que pase aqui en la tierra santa de Nicaragua.
Thank you all so much for the love and support that you have given me these last 18 months. They have been the best 18 months for my life and I know now that there is still much more work to do, even in Utah the Mormon factory. :) 
I love you all and I can't wait to see you!!!
Everyone is invited to my homecoming on Sunday the 25th!
With lots of love,
Hermana Willardson.

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